The search for a life partner is a journey that many of us embark on at some point in our lives. But as we navigate the ups and downs of relationships, it’s important to remember that ideally, our first relationship should be our only one for life. If your first relationship fails, so might all the next ones with high probability.
It is a commonly held belief among young people that one must be in love with their partner in order to marry. This way of thinking is often the result of media consumption, such as Disney stories about a knight in shining armor rescuing a princess or romance novels about a young woman finding her one true love. When individuals who have been exposed to these unrealistic notions of love at first sight and noble princes enter the real world to find a partner, they are often met with disappointment because their relationships do not measure up to their expectations. Young people must understand that marriage is not a magical fairytale adventure with endless happiness, sunshine, and roses. While the initial excitement of a new relationship may seem like a fairy tale, once the honeymoon phase ends and the relationship becomes more stable, rose-colored glasses come off, and the relationship may be viewed differently. It is important to remember that marriage is a partnership between a man and a woman coming together to create a family. Whether the man and woman love each other is not the most important factor; what is essential is that they have good genetics, complement each other well, and are able to form an efficient partnership to raise a family in order to ensure the continuation of their bloodline.
Many modern people are slaves to their emotions and desires, ruled by their primal brains. It has become commonplace for men and women to refuse to settle down in order to prioritize their education, personal growth, casual relationships, travel, partying, and other leisure activities over starting a family. These individuals, who waste their youth on “having fun” and pursuing meaningless careers while calling themselves “liberated,” eventually look around in their late 20s or early 30s and realize that their fertility has greatly decreased and they have little time left to start a family. By this point, all of the “good” men are already taken, leaving these women to compete for sub-par candidates. This can lead to frustration and disappointment. However, even if a woman is lucky enough to find a husband at an older age, divorce rate numbers show that there is a high chance of failure. In this panicked state, they often struggle to find a suitable partner, and even if they do, the partner is often not a good match. Many of these individuals, who may have had multiple failed relationships in the past, are not likely to end up in a stable marriage. As a result, many of these people end up single forever. However, if they had started a family early while the dating pool was still promising and had many children, the likelihood of such an outcome would have been greatly reduced. This is because most married couples who have many children together have a much harder time divorcing due to the challenges that come with splitting up a large, established family.
One significant contributor to the destruction of the American nuclear family is the lack of judgment from others in society. In the past, divorce was seen as a rare and scandalous occurrence. In the 19th century, divorce was viewed as taboo, and even if couples did separate, they rarely pursued a legal divorce. However, since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, divorce has been normalized in the public eye. Celebrities, who often serve as cultural role models for others, have a 67% higher divorce rate than average couples. Even among regular couples, divorce rates are high. According to The Knot, the average age of marriage in the U.S. is 34, and over 50% of marriages end in divorce. It is imperative that people find their moral compass and recognize that these statistics are disgraceful.
Modern culture has made it all too common for people to switch partners frequently, often with the belief that someone better will always be around the corner. But the truth is, this approach can lead to a lack of emotional investment and a lack of respect for the people we are with. When we’re constantly looking for the next best thing, we risk missing out on the opportunity to build a deep and meaningful connection with someone.
And when we do find ourselves in multiple failed relationships, the trauma can be devastating. Each failed relationship leaves us with a little piece of our heart broken, and the wounds may never fully heal. This can make it difficult to trust and commit to someone in the future, ultimately leading to a cycle of failed relationships.
But it’s not just the emotional toll that can be damaging – there is also the physical aspect to consider. Many people do not realize that they are given a biological time clock when it comes to starting a family. If we wait too long to begin this journey, we may find ourselves struggling to conceive and start a family. And the older we get, the more challenging it can be to have a healthy pregnancy and delivery.
So, when should we start looking for a serious partner to settle down with? The answer is simple – we should start building toward our future from an early age. Men and women should be actively looking for a marriage candidate by the time they reach 18 years of age. This is not to say that we should rush into a relationship or marriage without proper consideration, but rather that we should be proactive in trying to start a family rather than dilly-dallying around and letting time simply pass by.
A prime example to consider is India, where 90% of marriages are arranged, and the divorce rate is one of the lowest in the world at just 1%. By comparison, the divorce rate for regular marriages in the U.S. is around 42-53%, but for arranged marriages, it falls significantly to just 4%. While many Americans view arranged marriages with parental involvement as outdated, they show a high likelihood of success. It may be beneficial to follow in India’s footsteps and consider an arranged marriage as a viable option in modern times.